Boot Up: What I do to my feet when the temperature here drops below 70. As opposed to Bikini Up, which is what I used to do at the BYU when the temperature rose to anywhere near 70. Good thing I didn’t try out for any nationally televised dance shows while I was a bikini’d up Cougar.*
Flash Memory: Those times I have a vague recollection of something I am supposed to remember–like my age– before it disappears again.
Flash Drive: What I do when my kids have to be driven the one block to school so they won’t be late. Also known has Weekday Mornings.
Hard Drive: That time I drove by myself the 12 hours from my house to my parents’. In one day. With my three children. And a broken DVD player.
Input Device: Forks, spoons, knives and- in the case of my children- fingers, or any other food to mouth carrying utensil.**
Memory Stick: That velcro place in my brain where useless things I would like to forget–i.e. Poison Lyrics–have stuck and will haunt me long after I have forgotten everything of importance. I Won’t Forget You Baby, indeed.
Monitor: Something I should do to my children. At the very least.
Server Farms: A place, usually in a rural area, where waiters and waitresses are grown.
Storage Device: Places where my children keep the crap they get from birthday parties and other such functions that they couldn’t possibly throw away. Bedside Tables, Shelves, Dressers, Floors and any other piece of furniture I would like to see the surface of, but can’t– thanks to the piles of old Valentines, used erasers, gum wrappers, rocks, shells, and a variety of unidentifiable school projects currently covering them– fall under this category.
* For my friends who don’t follow BYU and its foibles, here is what this joke is referring to: http://universe.byu.edu/node/16343
** I know I could have gone another direction here, but I’m keeping it clean, folks
Next Up On The Blog: How Many Degrees Of Separation Are Required Before Dating A Cousin Is Acceptable and Other Dating Adventures From My Youth