My Beef (Not Corned) With St. Patrick

You know why I don’t like St. Patrick’s Day?

It’s not because I’m neither Irish or Catholic — though I think that’s reason enough not to celebrate it. Along with the fact that corned beef and cabbage sounds pretty disgusting. And what kind of holiday doesn’t have good food? Not one worth celebrating, I’ll tell you that much.*

But I could look past all of those things and still at least break out something green to wear** if it weren’t for the stupid leprechauns and the traps to catch them that my kids teachers think it would be fun for us to build.

They’re not. Just like it wasn’t fun to build those stupid farms when my oldest girls went through kindergarten. The ones with the instructions that said “no plastic animals” and “must be done by the child.”

Yeah, right. You know how many parents followed those instructions?

Two. My husband and me. And we thought we were cheating when we let Girl 1 help Girl 2 when it was her turn. Until we got to the open house and saw all the freshly painted wood farms with the cute plastic animals. Girl 2’s sad half painted milk carton and little horses hand shaped from clay with only her sister’s help, looked even sadder next to the farms of kids whose parents care.

Especially since most of her horses’ legs had broken upon transport from home to school. We had to tell people Girl 2 had actually made a glue farm and her broken-legged horses were laying on their sides waiting to be put down. And wasn’t that clever of her to think of that?

Not our proudest moment as parents.

So you can imagine our excitement when, due to budget cuts, Girl 3 didn’t have to make a farm last year when she was in kindergarten. And I guess we got a little too comfortable and assumed there would be no first grade leprechaun trap.


The paper came home last week. And I read it and groaned. Which sounded a lot like Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire, except I yelled “Leperchaaaaaaaaauns!!” instead of “Stellllll-A!”

And then I “forgot” about it.

Luckily Girl 3 remembered.   Which means she and Daddy will get some project time together tomorrow. After I remind him that I built the last one that required either a lever or a pulley. Both of which he insisted he not only didn’t know how to construct, but also wasn’t entirely sure what they were. So probably a good thing he went into law and not construction.

But this time he doesn’t have an excuse. The assignment is only to build a trap. And since he’s the one who ruined any chance of cheating by throwing away Girl 2’s trap with all my fancy pulleys AND levers (because I’m an overachiever), he’s the one who gets to build our last leprechaun trap ever.
And this one better work because if Girl 3 doesn’t bring home some leprechauns, I may have to do like those one guys did to Christmas (according to Glen Beck) and declare war on St. Patrick’s Day.

Until then, Happy Leprechaun Trapping to me and a wish to all of you that you never have to do the same.

* Except this year I am celebrating it by doing a blog hop and giving away this book:

So come back Friday for a chance to win in my Lucky Leprechaun Giveaway Hop!

** To be honest, I spend a lot of  time in my green Monterrey Bay sweatshirt, so it shouldn’t be too much of a sacrifice to wear it on Saturday. Again. With my sweat pants.

13 thoughts on “My Beef (Not Corned) With St. Patrick

  1. Wonder Woman says:

    I have never had to make a leprechaun trap, thank goodness. Sounds like a bit of ridiculousness. Just wanted to tell you that for the first time, I'm having a St. Patrick's Day dinner. We're having Baked Potato Soup. I might put green food coloring in it….. And I'm thinking we'll have rainbow sherbet for dessert.


  2. Jill Nogle says:

    Brittany, your posts are always a joy to read. You need to write a book! But this one had me laughing out loud :)You rock, my friend, and we miss you in Painted Trails!


  3. LisAway says:

    Pulleys AND levers!?! I thought before that we could be friends, but clearly you are so far above me I'd better not even try. Also, I live in a Catholic country (95%) and they don't celebrate St. Patricks day (though, admittedly, they don't have much of a history with Great Britain that would call for that). Also, I only heard of leprechaun traps in the last few years. I don't remember much talk of the creatures at all when I was a kid (apart from when it came to Lucky Charms). Is it just me, or are we looking for Easter Bunnies for every holiday? Cupid can leave treats on Valentine's day, Uncle Sam can come on the night of the 4th of July etc. etc.


  4. Becca says:

    with the youngest in 2nd grade, I'm getting really close to the end of the gimmicky holiday crap. but the science fair. oh, science fair, how I detest thee.


  5. alison says:

    sorry to rain on your “last trap” parade, but you may want to request a 2nd grade teacher that hates leprechauns as much as you do, cause at least one of my kids had to make one in 2nd grade too.


  6. David Read says:

    I had the same experience the first time my oldest son and I did his first Pinewood Derby car. Father/son cooperation, majority of work to be done by the child – sound familiar? And then of course I got to the actual competition and saw all the Gran Prix automobile masterpieces created by hypercompetitive overachiever fathers who spent 90 hours working on it. Needless to say, my son's car didn't match up, and I've hated Pinewood Derby ever since.


  7. Melinda says:

    I'm Irish and still don't care for St. Patrick's Day, a holiday where you pinch people. Thats dumb. 😉 I tried really hard not to take over my oldest's big kindergarden board thing, and then felt good when I saw the other parents who clearly did everything for them. I think I'd rather know my child did it, when its obvious a parent did the other's. I'm snobbish like that. 🙂


  8. Kimberly says:

    You are so right! Teachers get these “fun” ideas and then assign them as homework. I get that it's kinda cute and fun…Hey, I know, let's make this in CLASS.:)Love your blog.


  9. AimeeKay says:

    I sooo have to agree on being the only parents following the rules and NOT helping the kids. My first daughter had to make a mission. It said specifically NO kits and no adult help beyond anything needing to be cut etc. Here mission was of card board and for a little kid I thought it was pretty cute. Then we walked into the school and pretty much every one else's missions were kits or had been obviously done by someone over 7 years old. The only good thing was the teacher appreciated my daughter doing it herself and she not only got 100% on the project but it was also put on display. (considering it was falling apart at that point I was surprised at that, but *shrug* at least she got some acknowledgement for it.)


Leave a Reply to Wonder Woman Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s