Refrigerator Jenga

Have I mentioned I’ve been hanging out in Utah with my parents for a while? Like about three weeks. And maybe you’re wondering what I’ve been doing during all those weeks. Or maybe not. But either way, I’m going to tell you.

There have been some visits to some water parks. Like this one we went to after watching my nephew play baseball in Malad, Idaho (population: enough to have a dollar store and that’s about it):

Downata Hot Springs in Downey, Idaho (population: seriously, does anyone even live here?) has a couple of water slides and a pool, but this is the only thing I took a picture of because Girl 3 asked me to and it was close to my lounge chair.  All the water comes from a natural hot springs which means swimming in the pool felt like floating around in a giant bathtub and riding down the hydrotube felt like a claustrophobic trip through some one’s intestines before being shot out into a toilet. So basically it was a little like being in a giant bathroom, but definitely worth $7.

We’ve eaten at Chuck-a-Rama, been on some picnics, done some fishing, gone on a monster hike

during which my nephew cried for most of the way up that he wanted to go home and then when we got to the top he said, “Wow! Look at the view! It’s beautiful up here!” and Girl 3 said, “I feel like the most awesome mountain hiker ever!” Actually all the kids were pretty impressed with themselves for making it to the top and I was too.

We’re going on a cattle round up tomorrow and Girls 1 and 2 will be showing calves at the Cache County Fair again this year while I head to Bear Lake for a writer’s retreat before we head back to the Golden State (population: So, so many people. And they all seem to be tan and blond).

But a vacation at my parents’ wouldn’t be a vacation at my parents’ without multiple rounds of Refrigerator Jenga every day.

This is their fridge, aka Where Condiment Hoarders Hide Their Shame:

And this is how you play Refrigerator Jenga:
1. Think to yourself, “I would like something to eat.”
2. Open fridge slowly and be prepared to catch at least one jar of some condiment that will try to escape.

3. Move a giant tub of cottage cheese stacked on a small tub of sour cream, various sized containers with leftovers that nobody will ever eat, and a giant brick of cheese resting on a jar of mayonnaise, to find what it is you’re looking for only to not find it.
4. Try one of the other condiment shelves. There are four of them.
5. Move 53 bottles of different flavored fruit salsa. Most of them are stacked precariously on small containers of yogurt, so they should be easy to find. Remove 75 half empty bottles of salad dressing, another giant tub of cottage cheese, and at least one bottle of some sort of ice cream topping. Wipe up whatever dressing has spilled because the lid wasn’t on tight. Decide to try the next shelf.
6. Warning! Be careful not to move too quickly or you will knock over one of the open soda cans Mom keeps in the fridge waiting for it to go flat because it’s the carbonation that’s bad for you, not the high fructose corn syrup, food coloring or artificial flavoring.
7. Move the industrial sized Miracle Whip. You could throw it away, but there are two more just like it in the pantry, so what’s the point? If you passed on the first container of mayo you found, there’s another one here. You only have to rearrange the rest of ice cream toppings to get to it.  
8. Clean up the soda you just spilled. I hate to say I told you so but, I told you so.
9. You wanted jelly? Sorry. I was sure there was some in there somewhere.
10. Try the garage fridge only to find that it is used solely to store twelve packs of soda, leftovers, and sour cream.

Seriously, the excitement never ends!

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