1. Acoustic Songs: A song that can be used to sell fast food will not suck any less if “unplugged” (I’m looking at you, I’ll Melt With You).
2. Short Shorts: These are the rules for wearing them… Don’t. Odds are you look more like this:
Because guess what…you’re not airbrushed.
3. Little Boys: After three days of hands-on research that included an entire box of angel hair pasta strewn throughout my kitchen, family room, and dining room, I have come to the conclusion that two little boys between the ages of two and three are easier than one preteen girl.
4. Home School: Home schooling requires a lot of schooling at home. (Warning: If you’re tempted to comment here about all the fun “field trips” home schoolers can go on, please review the rules for wearing short shorts. They apply here also).
5. Bra Etiquette: Missed my post on it? Read it, learn it, live it, and avoid becoming this woman:
Or, worse, this woman, who I’m pretty sure is an anorexic hooker even though I saw her eat pizza and did not see her engage in any illegal activity, although this bra infraction bordered on indecent exposure:
Let this be a warning that it’s but a short descent from tacky bra strap exposure
to internet accusations by strangers concerning your.eating habits and chosen line of profession.